I don't know what to make of this word integration. I only know what to make of the word wholeness. Wholeness is wholeness. It excludes nothing. It is augmented by nothing. It is completed by nothing. It is whole and entire. Nothing is left out. Everything has a place. It all belongs. It belongs, and yet parts feel displaced. They feel judged. This is the tension. This is the conflict. There has been no forgiveness for the self by the self. There is no possibility of loving others as you love yourself, because there is no love of self, only rejection.
So long as anything is rejected, there cannot be reconciliation of these apparent contradictions. Fear and love, light and dark, sin and grace remain polarized. Startled, even overwhelmed by the movement of energy, we innocently separate from what we have judged as "other," as not me. Opposition begins from this moment on. From judgment comes separation, from separation comes opposition, from opposition comes conflict, and from conflict comes violence. Understanding how this gets created allows the possibility for working in reverse. It allows the possibility to undo the damage.
If we set up anything as our enemy, If we begin with the belief that we have a foe, as an inner reality, we perpetuate opposition. No reconciliation is possible. No lion lying down with the lamb is possible. We have judged, separated and opposed what could have been received. We have excluded what, by nature, is included. Interior conflict is the result of our continual rejection of what belongs to the whole. The willingness to reexamine beliefs and welcome what has been rejected, the willingness to turn enemies into friends and others into oneself is the the path of wholeness. So long as we persist with the belief that there is an enemy, we postpone the return of all to wholeness.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Die Before You Die
Truly birth and death are happening every moment. Each moment a thought arises is a birth, and each moment a thought subsides is a death. then the next thought comes, and so on. What we call the life story, or the life of the individual is just one thought connecting with the next and the next, and so on. Out of these thoughts, an identity is formed. It is an identity that is "time bound", because time and mind appear and disappear together. Without mind, there is no time. In between the thoughts is the I AM. The I AM is linking thoughts together. It is always, always there.
The I AM is the Source of each thought. This has to be noticed. Freedom is basing your identity, not on the thought, which appears and disappears, like time, but on the I AM. "Thou art That!" is the pointer. The stream of thought is not continuous, though some may believe so. Thoughts are linked together by the I AM. They appear, then disappear. The I AM alone remains, always. The I AM is the space between each thought as well as the consciousness that gives rise and makes up each thought. In this way we are present at creation. We are present at the birth and death of every thought. Thus, we are present at our own birth and death. This is the meaning of "Die before you die" It is an invitation to take back your identity based on events, on thoughts, feelings, sensations etc., phenomenon which come and go, and place this label "I" on something more permanent, something more substantial, something eternal. We are invited to investigate, to find out the truth, to recover our identity, from the fate of events, from the shifting sand and place it on the rock, or I AM, which always is.
The I AM is the Source of each thought. This has to be noticed. Freedom is basing your identity, not on the thought, which appears and disappears, like time, but on the I AM. "Thou art That!" is the pointer. The stream of thought is not continuous, though some may believe so. Thoughts are linked together by the I AM. They appear, then disappear. The I AM alone remains, always. The I AM is the space between each thought as well as the consciousness that gives rise and makes up each thought. In this way we are present at creation. We are present at the birth and death of every thought. Thus, we are present at our own birth and death. This is the meaning of "Die before you die" It is an invitation to take back your identity based on events, on thoughts, feelings, sensations etc., phenomenon which come and go, and place this label "I" on something more permanent, something more substantial, something eternal. We are invited to investigate, to find out the truth, to recover our identity, from the fate of events, from the shifting sand and place it on the rock, or I AM, which always is.
There Is No Becoming
You are That. There is no becoming That, and yet there is the continuous process of re-inclusion. There is realization and re-inclusion. The movement is toward re-inclusion. Whatever arises, pretending to be "unrealized," is meant to come home, so that there is peace throughout the system. "This is That" is the Truth, which underlies this process of everything returning to Oneness. Everything is Oneness, not knowing it. This is the final understanding.
What isn't re-included and redeemed by Oneness is still fallen." The mind, the content of the mind, actions, which flow from "fallen nature" are distorted and far from what is possible. The vocation of the individual is to wake up, realize who he or she is and re-include what has fallen from grace by allowing what arises to come home.
What isn't re-included and redeemed by Oneness is still fallen." The mind, the content of the mind, actions, which flow from "fallen nature" are distorted and far from what is possible. The vocation of the individual is to wake up, realize who he or she is and re-include what has fallen from grace by allowing what arises to come home.
You Already Have An Identity
I'm not a doctor, a counselor, or a psychiatrist. I am just one who has discovered a secret. It's not a secret, really. It's just something that many have not taken the time to notice, but if you spend the time, this secret becomes obvious. The secret has to do with your identity, in particular, how your identity gets created. One day, it became obvious just how that happens, and I am now sharing it with you and whoever will listen.
The secret is that the mind builds an identity out of events. If there are no events, there is no identity. This is significant, but few realize just how significant. The mind-made identity, which almost everyone takes to be real, which changes moment to moment, is not the Truth. The sense of I AM is your true identity. It does not depend on events and so does not change. To see that the mind builds an identity out of events, and to see what this process obscures is liberation.
To see that you don't need two identities, that you have the identity of God is the truth that ends suffering. Nevertheless, the mind builds additional identities out of events, and says "this other is the truth!" "I am depressed." "I am lost" "I am anxious" "I am hurt." "I am separate" and so on. But none of these identities endure. They are not true. Depression, feelings of being lost or confused, anxious or hurt, are events, not identities. A feeling, a thought, a sensation is an event. It is a happening, not an identity. An identity, you already have. This awareness of how a "time-bound" identity gets built up can help anyone to be free. This can help even in the worst case scenario.
So, very simply, what I am saying is that the mind, desirous to know who or what it is, takes events or happenings and turns them into an identity. True, these events happened, but an identity, you already have. "You are That!", the same as everything. Why complicate matters? Having one self and many identities is self-fragmentation, not Self-realization.
When we let the mind build an identity out of events, the identity is always changing, because events are always changing. Consequently, who you are is obscured. When this task of securing an identity is left to the unenlightened mind, the mind not knowing its true nature, it comes up with countless momentary or "fleeting" identities. None of them tell you who you are. To have many events is fine, but to have many identities is crazy. Having a single identity that does not depend on events, whether it is the arising of a thought, a feeling, or even the happening of your birth is Oneness. It is also Freedom. Enlightenment, Salvation, and so on.
Such "attainments" are not beyond you, because you are That already. Your identity doesn't become That, when you have meditated enough or when you have become worthy. Your identity is That. "You are That!" Therefore, That is your identity and not these others, which the mind builds out of events, which you inevitably outlast.
The secret is that the mind builds an identity out of events. If there are no events, there is no identity. This is significant, but few realize just how significant. The mind-made identity, which almost everyone takes to be real, which changes moment to moment, is not the Truth. The sense of I AM is your true identity. It does not depend on events and so does not change. To see that the mind builds an identity out of events, and to see what this process obscures is liberation.
To see that you don't need two identities, that you have the identity of God is the truth that ends suffering. Nevertheless, the mind builds additional identities out of events, and says "this other is the truth!" "I am depressed." "I am lost" "I am anxious" "I am hurt." "I am separate" and so on. But none of these identities endure. They are not true. Depression, feelings of being lost or confused, anxious or hurt, are events, not identities. A feeling, a thought, a sensation is an event. It is a happening, not an identity. An identity, you already have. This awareness of how a "time-bound" identity gets built up can help anyone to be free. This can help even in the worst case scenario.
So, very simply, what I am saying is that the mind, desirous to know who or what it is, takes events or happenings and turns them into an identity. True, these events happened, but an identity, you already have. "You are That!", the same as everything. Why complicate matters? Having one self and many identities is self-fragmentation, not Self-realization.
When we let the mind build an identity out of events, the identity is always changing, because events are always changing. Consequently, who you are is obscured. When this task of securing an identity is left to the unenlightened mind, the mind not knowing its true nature, it comes up with countless momentary or "fleeting" identities. None of them tell you who you are. To have many events is fine, but to have many identities is crazy. Having a single identity that does not depend on events, whether it is the arising of a thought, a feeling, or even the happening of your birth is Oneness. It is also Freedom. Enlightenment, Salvation, and so on.
Such "attainments" are not beyond you, because you are That already. Your identity doesn't become That, when you have meditated enough or when you have become worthy. Your identity is That. "You are That!" Therefore, That is your identity and not these others, which the mind builds out of events, which you inevitably outlast.
Why There Is No Separation
Separation is perceiving from the point of view that God is limited. How absurd. Of course God, or Self, includes all, otherwise, God is limited. The truth is neither that God is limited nor that you are. You are one and the same Reality. How could it not be so? There cannot be two realities when one is infinite. Wholeness is, in truth, inescapable.
The counsel, "Don't become anything" is simply a warning not to confuse a limited personal expression with limited being or a limited identity. By not doing so, nothing is set apart and everything remains undifferentiated Wholeness.
When we superimpose an identity that obscures the truth of Wholeness, we mentally set ourselves apart from Wholeness and we operate under the delusion that we are finite. The counsel, "Don't become anything," and the reminder, "You are That" is to safeguard us from these tendencies the ego has to objectify itself.
If we ourselves are objects to be studied, judged and improved, then everything else will be objects to be studied, judged and improved. If we can awaken to this truth that we and everything else are unlimited, well, that's another story, or maybe, it is the death of the old story. Truly, we are bound only by who we think we are. Without thought, that person who needs to do this that and the other, in order to be whole or free, doesn't exist.
Wholeness is Perfection. Perfection is God, and You are Wholeness. Truly, there is nothing but God. The confusion comes because the concept God is often associated with ideas of moral perfection, but Reality is something else entirely. In his/her present state the person has forgotten the Source, and has lost connection with Truth. It is imagining yourself to be apart from the Whole and imagining others to be apart from you, which is the cause of needless suffering in the world.
The counsel, "Don't become anything" is simply a warning not to confuse a limited personal expression with limited being or a limited identity. By not doing so, nothing is set apart and everything remains undifferentiated Wholeness.
When we superimpose an identity that obscures the truth of Wholeness, we mentally set ourselves apart from Wholeness and we operate under the delusion that we are finite. The counsel, "Don't become anything," and the reminder, "You are That" is to safeguard us from these tendencies the ego has to objectify itself.
If we ourselves are objects to be studied, judged and improved, then everything else will be objects to be studied, judged and improved. If we can awaken to this truth that we and everything else are unlimited, well, that's another story, or maybe, it is the death of the old story. Truly, we are bound only by who we think we are. Without thought, that person who needs to do this that and the other, in order to be whole or free, doesn't exist.
Wholeness is Perfection. Perfection is God, and You are Wholeness. Truly, there is nothing but God. The confusion comes because the concept God is often associated with ideas of moral perfection, but Reality is something else entirely. In his/her present state the person has forgotten the Source, and has lost connection with Truth. It is imagining yourself to be apart from the Whole and imagining others to be apart from you, which is the cause of needless suffering in the world.
The Problem With Methods
Whether awakening is sudden or whether it comes in stages, whether it is partial or whether it is full, depends on the method. For the good of all, I have chosen four primary methods. If we go into them, perhaps we can deepen our understanding of what they are and where they fall short. The first is meditation. The second is witnessing, the third is self-inquiry, and the fourth I call beginning from wholeness.
The goal of meditation being a thoughtless state, the concern is diminishing thought. Here, some are more successful than others. Regardless of one's success or failure, when the practice is through, although there is a glimpse, there remains a separate someone who has meditated, be it poorly or successfully. Here, one may suffer under the delusion that they are a separate somebody trying to get to where they already are.
The second is witnessing. In witnessing the concern is diminishing identification. Netti netti, "not this not that," is part of the method. The objective is to achieve or experience a kind of aloneness, a kind of pure space that is not identified with any of its arising forms. It is a type of discrimination. However, even if witnessing is successful, one is left not only with the thought or the belief, "I am the Witness," but he or she is left with the mistaken understanding that one is solely the Witness. Due to the diminishment of identification, what arises has nothing to do with what Witnesses. This method often results in an experience that is transcendent, divisive, disassociative or dualistic.
The third is self-inquiry. Self-inquiry is the invitation to investigate the basic assumption of who or what you are. It is subtle and often misunderstood. If confirmed by one who has realized, it is the most direct path. It is so direct that it has been called the pathless path. The discovery that comes out of self inquiry is not what you are but what you are not, mainly: you are nothing perceivable or conceivable. Not being able to perceive a mind, a separate entity or individual is the immediate result of the method. It takes but a glance, and its significance, if understood, is irreversible and total. If it is not, self inquiry becomes just another practice and it's greater purpose is missed. (In order to prevent this, the teacher waits for the right time, when the mind is silent, and truth can go in without ego defenses.)
When something becomes a practice, there is the goal of practicing and improving. The belief is that one is becoming better at meditating, witnessing, or inquiring. With this understanding, the drive to better oneself continues indefinitely. There is a striving to achieve some exalted state. There is a projected future where there will be less thoughts, less identification, or a truer seeing. There is a projection of some event when, for the "individual," things will be more peaceful. If meditation, witnessing, and inquiry were not turned into a practice, there might be the realization that there is no separate someone divorced from Being. Then meditation, witnessing or inquiring could be enjoyed for themselves without a goal. This would put an end to the individual's search.
If self-inquiry were understood correctly, if the full shock of realization were felt, neither meditation, witnessing, nor inquiry could become a practice. They could not become a practice whereby an individual hoped to gain something that is not here now, whether it be a thoughtless state, a break in identification, or a grasp of who or what you are. If self inquiry were understood correctly, the seeker's search would end. However, even self-inquiry falls short. Even if it fulfills its purpose, the importance of the body or personality are often denied, undervalued or left out.
Because these methods come out of a tradition which challenges assumptions: mainly that you are only the body, that you are only the mind, that you are solely the person or individual, they begin from the perspective of overturning a prejudice. Since nothing can be said of what is discovered, what is seen upon inquiry, the focus is turned to what is not seen. Mainly, there is no perceivable I or individual controller, and yet, there is the experience of I, the experience of ego, the experience of control and the experience of choice. I arises, I individuates and expresses as personal; This is the human experience.
Truth is all encompassing. It includes the human and the divine. There is not only the One, but the many. We can attach any number of stories or theories to this, but for whatever reason, it is the way Consciousness is expressing. It is personal, impersonal and neither. It is individual, alone and neither. It does not exclude. It diversifies. It does not separate; it includes. We may say, "not this not that," but the truth is: there is only That and That is all there is. Consciousness encompasses all that is. It is fully the One and the many. We may experience it as "not two." We may experience it as many. We may experience is either, neither or both. That is the paradox.
Those who have woken up, as a device, have often underemphasized what was overemphasized, and overemphasized what was underemphasized. They skillfully tried to point to what was not being seen. If the majority were looking at the finger, that would say, "look at the moon." If the majority were looking at the moon, they would say, "don't forget about the finger. They were unpredictable. They could speak of freedom as freedom from, be it freedom from mind, self, ego, individuality, or illusion, and in the next breath they could speak of freedom as nothing to choose between, as choicelessness, that Truth has no preferences and no need to be free. Those who have truly woken up, close the gap between the one and the many. They do not dichotomize. They are all encompassing and truly non-dual. For them, realizing that you are not the body, is realizing that you are all bodies, realizing that you are not the person is realizing that you are all persons, all places, all things.
Because the seeker begins with the idea that he or she is separate or cut off from the One, he or she commences the return to wholeness. The seeker doesn't see that he or she is part of wholeness, that seeking arises in wholeness and in an expression of wholeness. The whole is not considered. Only parts are considered, the seeker and the sought, and the dilemma arises how to make the two one. The truth is they are already one. If we start from wholeness, there is no need to deconstruct. Will we deconstruct only to reassemble what can never be separate? Will we try to heal the gap between two realities that can never be separate? The reality of the part and the whole cannot be separate nor can they really be two. That there is nothing to choose between is the realization of oneness, that there is no chooser, but just the appearance of choice, is self-realization.
There are, however, methods for realizing the big picture that don't begin with exclusion or disassociation, they don't suggest rejection death or turning away. They are in no way divisive or exclusionary. They leave everything in tact. The don't consider the mind and the body as obstacles. They don't see thought as something to be gotten rid of. They don't see the need to throw anything out, even initially. They are not deconstuctionist in nature. They simply point to what is subtle, what has been overlooked. Rather then clearing away the false to get to the true, they start from wholeness and look deeply into the total organic expression of consciousness each moment.There is only That
All this talk of getting out of one's own way is just an invitation to die to the idea of "me" by looking to the one Reality that is causing everything. The invitation to surrender is an invitation to realize that there is only That. Statements, which deny the reality of the body, the world, the ego, the mind, the self, the person, free will, choice or "the other," are not denying the appearances of these phenomenon. They are simply pointing to one and the same truth -THERE IS ONLY THAT. Awakening brings two significant understandings. As That, you are 100% free, and you are 100% That.
"There is only That" is a pointer, which is all encompassing. It points to the fact that no matter what experience you may be having or not having, already, you are 100% That. The same is true for everything and everyone. What is implied by using the all encompassing pointer: "There is only that." is that the body, the mind and the world are also That. There are not two or three or four or many. There is That, and That is all there is.
The goal of meditation being a thoughtless state, the concern is diminishing thought. Here, some are more successful than others. Regardless of one's success or failure, when the practice is through, although there is a glimpse, there remains a separate someone who has meditated, be it poorly or successfully. Here, one may suffer under the delusion that they are a separate somebody trying to get to where they already are.
The second is witnessing. In witnessing the concern is diminishing identification. Netti netti, "not this not that," is part of the method. The objective is to achieve or experience a kind of aloneness, a kind of pure space that is not identified with any of its arising forms. It is a type of discrimination. However, even if witnessing is successful, one is left not only with the thought or the belief, "I am the Witness," but he or she is left with the mistaken understanding that one is solely the Witness. Due to the diminishment of identification, what arises has nothing to do with what Witnesses. This method often results in an experience that is transcendent, divisive, disassociative or dualistic.
The third is self-inquiry. Self-inquiry is the invitation to investigate the basic assumption of who or what you are. It is subtle and often misunderstood. If confirmed by one who has realized, it is the most direct path. It is so direct that it has been called the pathless path. The discovery that comes out of self inquiry is not what you are but what you are not, mainly: you are nothing perceivable or conceivable. Not being able to perceive a mind, a separate entity or individual is the immediate result of the method. It takes but a glance, and its significance, if understood, is irreversible and total. If it is not, self inquiry becomes just another practice and it's greater purpose is missed. (In order to prevent this, the teacher waits for the right time, when the mind is silent, and truth can go in without ego defenses.)
When something becomes a practice, there is the goal of practicing and improving. The belief is that one is becoming better at meditating, witnessing, or inquiring. With this understanding, the drive to better oneself continues indefinitely. There is a striving to achieve some exalted state. There is a projected future where there will be less thoughts, less identification, or a truer seeing. There is a projection of some event when, for the "individual," things will be more peaceful. If meditation, witnessing, and inquiry were not turned into a practice, there might be the realization that there is no separate someone divorced from Being. Then meditation, witnessing or inquiring could be enjoyed for themselves without a goal. This would put an end to the individual's search.
If self-inquiry were understood correctly, if the full shock of realization were felt, neither meditation, witnessing, nor inquiry could become a practice. They could not become a practice whereby an individual hoped to gain something that is not here now, whether it be a thoughtless state, a break in identification, or a grasp of who or what you are. If self inquiry were understood correctly, the seeker's search would end. However, even self-inquiry falls short. Even if it fulfills its purpose, the importance of the body or personality are often denied, undervalued or left out.
Because these methods come out of a tradition which challenges assumptions: mainly that you are only the body, that you are only the mind, that you are solely the person or individual, they begin from the perspective of overturning a prejudice. Since nothing can be said of what is discovered, what is seen upon inquiry, the focus is turned to what is not seen. Mainly, there is no perceivable I or individual controller, and yet, there is the experience of I, the experience of ego, the experience of control and the experience of choice. I arises, I individuates and expresses as personal; This is the human experience.
Truth is all encompassing. It includes the human and the divine. There is not only the One, but the many. We can attach any number of stories or theories to this, but for whatever reason, it is the way Consciousness is expressing. It is personal, impersonal and neither. It is individual, alone and neither. It does not exclude. It diversifies. It does not separate; it includes. We may say, "not this not that," but the truth is: there is only That and That is all there is. Consciousness encompasses all that is. It is fully the One and the many. We may experience it as "not two." We may experience it as many. We may experience is either, neither or both. That is the paradox.
Those who have woken up, as a device, have often underemphasized what was overemphasized, and overemphasized what was underemphasized. They skillfully tried to point to what was not being seen. If the majority were looking at the finger, that would say, "look at the moon." If the majority were looking at the moon, they would say, "don't forget about the finger. They were unpredictable. They could speak of freedom as freedom from, be it freedom from mind, self, ego, individuality, or illusion, and in the next breath they could speak of freedom as nothing to choose between, as choicelessness, that Truth has no preferences and no need to be free. Those who have truly woken up, close the gap between the one and the many. They do not dichotomize. They are all encompassing and truly non-dual. For them, realizing that you are not the body, is realizing that you are all bodies, realizing that you are not the person is realizing that you are all persons, all places, all things.
Because the seeker begins with the idea that he or she is separate or cut off from the One, he or she commences the return to wholeness. The seeker doesn't see that he or she is part of wholeness, that seeking arises in wholeness and in an expression of wholeness. The whole is not considered. Only parts are considered, the seeker and the sought, and the dilemma arises how to make the two one. The truth is they are already one. If we start from wholeness, there is no need to deconstruct. Will we deconstruct only to reassemble what can never be separate? Will we try to heal the gap between two realities that can never be separate? The reality of the part and the whole cannot be separate nor can they really be two. That there is nothing to choose between is the realization of oneness, that there is no chooser, but just the appearance of choice, is self-realization.
There are, however, methods for realizing the big picture that don't begin with exclusion or disassociation, they don't suggest rejection death or turning away. They are in no way divisive or exclusionary. They leave everything in tact. The don't consider the mind and the body as obstacles. They don't see thought as something to be gotten rid of. They don't see the need to throw anything out, even initially. They are not deconstuctionist in nature. They simply point to what is subtle, what has been overlooked. Rather then clearing away the false to get to the true, they start from wholeness and look deeply into the total organic expression of consciousness each moment.There is only That
All this talk of getting out of one's own way is just an invitation to die to the idea of "me" by looking to the one Reality that is causing everything. The invitation to surrender is an invitation to realize that there is only That. Statements, which deny the reality of the body, the world, the ego, the mind, the self, the person, free will, choice or "the other," are not denying the appearances of these phenomenon. They are simply pointing to one and the same truth -THERE IS ONLY THAT. Awakening brings two significant understandings. As That, you are 100% free, and you are 100% That.
"There is only That" is a pointer, which is all encompassing. It points to the fact that no matter what experience you may be having or not having, already, you are 100% That. The same is true for everything and everyone. What is implied by using the all encompassing pointer: "There is only that." is that the body, the mind and the world are also That. There are not two or three or four or many. There is That, and That is all there is.
Dreaming
What is your experience of yourself when there is no thought? What survives, if anything at all? Is That not present always, whether thought is or not? Is That not eternal, unchaging and discontinuous with time, mind or any concept?
To clarify, allow me to share with you a dream. I dreamed that I was at satsang. The question arose, "What is the difference between being Being, between being Presence and being one who is present? just then, mind jumped to another question: that of whether or not one could become better at being Being. As soon as I asked it, the absurdity of what I was asking was noticed. The slightest bit of effort, and you become one who is present. This is conceptual. To be Presence itself, no effort is needed. You are not required.
From the perspective of Presence, to become better at being, or any involvement with personal evolution is a mental game, an intellectual exercise. first you imagine yourself as you believe you are then as you would like to be. The whole process begins and ends with imagination. It is a kind of dream.
Timelessness means, that the starting point is always Being. One doesn't evolve, develop, or process. One simply begins at the finish line. Any race is unnecessary. In fact, it is the block.
What the realized have realized is that the starting point has always been that of undifferentiated Wholeness. It is mind that makes the divisions. Without mind, without mentation, these are non-existent. Divisions are simply not there. These so called divisions go hand in hand with your considerations. Consider for a moment how much of the ocean is wave and how much is stillness, how much is shallow or deep? See how consideration divides what is whole.
If you project this understanding onto self, you can see the ridiculousness of this approach to reality. You might proceed in this way. Four fourths make a whole, therefore, I am 25% body, 25% mind, 25% emotions and 25% spirit. This obviously is absurd, and yet it is how a majority approach the idea of self. Maybe not exactly in that way, but one is still split in two, one is 50/50: body and soul, flesh and spirit, shadow and light. This understanding reflects a lack of understanding, even no understanding of undifferentiated wholeness.
It is mind that differentiates. It is mind that includes and excludes, and it is mind that refers qualities which become ego. This is why all of experience, except an experience of timelessness, or choicelesness has been talked about as a dream.
To clarify, allow me to share with you a dream. I dreamed that I was at satsang. The question arose, "What is the difference between being Being, between being Presence and being one who is present? just then, mind jumped to another question: that of whether or not one could become better at being Being. As soon as I asked it, the absurdity of what I was asking was noticed. The slightest bit of effort, and you become one who is present. This is conceptual. To be Presence itself, no effort is needed. You are not required.
From the perspective of Presence, to become better at being, or any involvement with personal evolution is a mental game, an intellectual exercise. first you imagine yourself as you believe you are then as you would like to be. The whole process begins and ends with imagination. It is a kind of dream.
Timelessness means, that the starting point is always Being. One doesn't evolve, develop, or process. One simply begins at the finish line. Any race is unnecessary. In fact, it is the block.
What the realized have realized is that the starting point has always been that of undifferentiated Wholeness. It is mind that makes the divisions. Without mind, without mentation, these are non-existent. Divisions are simply not there. These so called divisions go hand in hand with your considerations. Consider for a moment how much of the ocean is wave and how much is stillness, how much is shallow or deep? See how consideration divides what is whole.
If you project this understanding onto self, you can see the ridiculousness of this approach to reality. You might proceed in this way. Four fourths make a whole, therefore, I am 25% body, 25% mind, 25% emotions and 25% spirit. This obviously is absurd, and yet it is how a majority approach the idea of self. Maybe not exactly in that way, but one is still split in two, one is 50/50: body and soul, flesh and spirit, shadow and light. This understanding reflects a lack of understanding, even no understanding of undifferentiated wholeness.
It is mind that differentiates. It is mind that includes and excludes, and it is mind that refers qualities which become ego. This is why all of experience, except an experience of timelessness, or choicelesness has been talked about as a dream.
Satsang
If I knew of any other word, I would use it, Satsang is simply an invitation to look, see, and discover grace. It is an invitation to realize that the thinking consciousness is not the same as the witnessing consciousness. Why is this such a great discovery? Because one is the mind, and the other is beyond it. One is in time; the other is beyond it. To realize that you are beyond the mind, beyond "I", beyond ego, beyond the body and the world is the awakening. It is freedom.
Satsang is just this; nothing else. It is not a platform for teaching, a place for learning, or a workshop for finding solutions to personal problems like: "What can I do to improve my life, my career, or my relationships?" There is absolutely nothing in satsang for the ego.
The "miracle" which happens is of a different nature, and is two-fold. First, there is the discovery of unconditioned, always free consciousness, second, there is clarity as regards the cause of suffering. In other words, there is profound seeing that preferring or referencing the thinking consciousness results in heavy-headedness, not light-heartedness.
The fundamental mistake is that the thinking consciousness, and not the witnessing consciousness has been labeled "I" and taken as one's true identity. This error is undone in satsang. And, that is all.
Satsang is just this; nothing else. It is not a platform for teaching, a place for learning, or a workshop for finding solutions to personal problems like: "What can I do to improve my life, my career, or my relationships?" There is absolutely nothing in satsang for the ego.
The "miracle" which happens is of a different nature, and is two-fold. First, there is the discovery of unconditioned, always free consciousness, second, there is clarity as regards the cause of suffering. In other words, there is profound seeing that preferring or referencing the thinking consciousness results in heavy-headedness, not light-heartedness.
The fundamental mistake is that the thinking consciousness, and not the witnessing consciousness has been labeled "I" and taken as one's true identity. This error is undone in satsang. And, that is all.
Misunderstanding
There is no such thing as a conditioned self. This is language only. It is a concept only. Self is always unconditioned and free. If any, these are the proper qualities to ascribe. All the rest, conditioning, is just information that is accessible. It might be positive information or negative. Ultimately, it doesn't matter. It is not you. It is purely accidental. It may be purposeful, but it is always accidental. All of it comes, and all of it goes. This is the meaning of accidental as opposed to essential. This is what is meant by illusion instead of ultimate Reality. The ultimate Reality abides. It abides eternally.
It is not even accurate to say that a part of you which is eternal abides and the other part comes and goes. You have no parts. You are utterly simple. What comes and goes is not you. That's the whole point. All these varied experiences, and still you remain as you have always been, untouched, unchanged, unaffected, as a fish swimming through water. That is the awakening. Seeing this truth, what is known as realization, is an opportunity to call into question both what you have been calling you and what you have been referring to you.
Truth is utterly mysterious and has no self-reference. Only the known can be referenced. Only information can be referenced. You are essentially unknowable. Thus, whatever you take yourself for, you mistake yourself for. That is what the ego is, a mistaken identity. In Reality, you are not this, that or the other. You are not angry, depressed, anxious or afraid. Neither are you the opposite. None of it applies to you. That is the freedom. That is the liberation. You are and always have been, throughout the creative process and before, free of all identification with what is fixed, with what is limited, with what is affected, with what needs to be "fixed." You don't need to be fixed. Just clear up the basic misunderstanding, and don't again mix it up.
Oneness does not imply mixed up, neither is integration collecting or compiling stray information. It is not owning or reifying what is conceptual and gathering it into a unified whole. Whatever can be joined or pieced together can also fall apart. That's not it. That is neither simple nor natural. Rather, integration is abiding as That which is intrinsically simple, and as That, meeting what is not, or at least what does not appear to be, from a limited self-identified perspective.
It is not even accurate to say that a part of you which is eternal abides and the other part comes and goes. You have no parts. You are utterly simple. What comes and goes is not you. That's the whole point. All these varied experiences, and still you remain as you have always been, untouched, unchanged, unaffected, as a fish swimming through water. That is the awakening. Seeing this truth, what is known as realization, is an opportunity to call into question both what you have been calling you and what you have been referring to you.
Truth is utterly mysterious and has no self-reference. Only the known can be referenced. Only information can be referenced. You are essentially unknowable. Thus, whatever you take yourself for, you mistake yourself for. That is what the ego is, a mistaken identity. In Reality, you are not this, that or the other. You are not angry, depressed, anxious or afraid. Neither are you the opposite. None of it applies to you. That is the freedom. That is the liberation. You are and always have been, throughout the creative process and before, free of all identification with what is fixed, with what is limited, with what is affected, with what needs to be "fixed." You don't need to be fixed. Just clear up the basic misunderstanding, and don't again mix it up.
Oneness does not imply mixed up, neither is integration collecting or compiling stray information. It is not owning or reifying what is conceptual and gathering it into a unified whole. Whatever can be joined or pieced together can also fall apart. That's not it. That is neither simple nor natural. Rather, integration is abiding as That which is intrinsically simple, and as That, meeting what is not, or at least what does not appear to be, from a limited self-identified perspective.
Is It Not True?
I notice that I'm... Is it not true? Is it not your experience? The truth is all the minds tricks are on the table. Nothing is under the table. Nothing escapes Awareness. This is your own experience, and yet you wait for some other experience to accompany this most fundamental and universal one. This is postponement. It is the story: "I'm not ready." "I'm not worthy?" "I haven't dissolved yet." Right? Forget about it. You don't have to. Nothing impedes awakening, or rather, nothing impedes that which is awake. It is awake despite you. Despite your desires or readiness, despite your insights or ignorance, something notices the whole drama. What is unchanging notices the changes. The problem is you want to make it happen, and it has happened already. You want to become free, and you are already That.
This is your own truth, and you've not discovered it. This has led you to search for it To investigate pilgrimages, classrooms, workshops, teachers, teachings and techniques of all kinds. But, in truth you don't need to move or go anywhere? Your efforts are not required.
No one, including avatars, buddhas, saints, or sages are any higher than you. There is no higher and lower in Oneness. There is no before and after in eternity. There is no hierarchy in awareness. There is a difference in roles, but unqualified awareness leaves no room for qualifications. It is a grace, and it is universal.
This is your own truth, and you've not discovered it. This has led you to search for it To investigate pilgrimages, classrooms, workshops, teachers, teachings and techniques of all kinds. But, in truth you don't need to move or go anywhere? Your efforts are not required.
No one, including avatars, buddhas, saints, or sages are any higher than you. There is no higher and lower in Oneness. There is no before and after in eternity. There is no hierarchy in awareness. There is a difference in roles, but unqualified awareness leaves no room for qualifications. It is a grace, and it is universal.
Freedom
Freedom is not a state, not an achievement It is seeing from the perspective of a greater awareness. It's not that "I" achieve this greater awareness, or that "I" expand my consciousness. It really has nothing to do with me. Freedom is free of me. It doesn't need me. What a blow to the ego, to the "person" this is. But, that's just how it is. You are free and there's nothing you can do about it.
The you that wants to do something about it, that tries to do something about it, isn't free. It isn't free of the mind. It is the mind. How's that for a joke, the mind trying to go beyond the mind.
Greater awareness, or the Seer, as it is sometimes called, is free choicelessly. It is freedom itself. There isn't anything to do or not do. There isn't anything to achieve. There isn't anything to desire. It is simply at one. Any separation is seen as thought only. Without thinking, or without referencing thought, by simply noticing, one notices what, by nature, is always free: the Seer.
The Seer or Consciousness free of form is naturally free of "I" and "my" and thus always peaceful. What isn't peaceful is mind or "I." All problems are the property of "I." This is why you say, "they are "my" problems." "My" means they belong to "I" not to that which is aware of "I" or that which is aware of awareness. This is true also of desires, thoughts, feelings, fears, beliefs, opinions, judgments...the list goes on.
In the big picture, you are not the body but what sees the body. You are not thoughts but what sees the thoughts. In the big picture, you are what notices. What notices is what is free.
The you that wants to do something about it, that tries to do something about it, isn't free. It isn't free of the mind. It is the mind. How's that for a joke, the mind trying to go beyond the mind.
Greater awareness, or the Seer, as it is sometimes called, is free choicelessly. It is freedom itself. There isn't anything to do or not do. There isn't anything to achieve. There isn't anything to desire. It is simply at one. Any separation is seen as thought only. Without thinking, or without referencing thought, by simply noticing, one notices what, by nature, is always free: the Seer.
The Seer or Consciousness free of form is naturally free of "I" and "my" and thus always peaceful. What isn't peaceful is mind or "I." All problems are the property of "I." This is why you say, "they are "my" problems." "My" means they belong to "I" not to that which is aware of "I" or that which is aware of awareness. This is true also of desires, thoughts, feelings, fears, beliefs, opinions, judgments...the list goes on.
In the big picture, you are not the body but what sees the body. You are not thoughts but what sees the thoughts. In the big picture, you are what notices. What notices is what is free.
I Makes the Difference
"I" makes the difference. Holding onto differences is holding onto "I." "I" agrees with, "I" disagrees with. That's what is called an opinion. However camouflaged, however worded: "I think, I feel, I believe, It seems to me, that sounds right," all this charade of knowing keeps the "I" going, keeps the "I" searching. In fact, The seeker's search is the search for knowledge which the ego equates with Truth. "If I could have more knowledge, then I could have more Truth. If I could have more knowledge, I could have more control over my life." That is the equation.
But, knowing, like seeking, just keeps the "I" going. It feeds the illusion. It sustains the illusion of differences, of separateness, and the illusion that "I" can have real knowledge, or true control. Freedom is free of all of it. In fact, that is the freedom. It is free from the concern of having more knowledge. It is free from the need to control. It is free of the limited perspective of "I," and it is free of autonomy. Thus, it is free of drama, free of acting, and most importantly, free of the actor that says, "I know."
To the ego, who thinks it must know, who thinks it must choose, that it must take a stand, true freedom is terrifying. For the ego, distictions and differences are absolutely necessary. Without distinctions, it asks, "Where will I stand? What will be my boundaries? How will I stand apart from the rest?" This is the ego's greatest concern, what to be for and what to be against.
To be without any opinion, to be without any conclusion, to be without any stance, is to be free of "I' and 'my." From here, one opens to the awakened perspective, where nothing can be said above and beyond the obvious. "It is as it is." That's as philosophical as Awakened Presence gets. It does not share your opinions or beliefs. It does not remark: "oh, that's terrible," or that's great, or "that's too bad" or "that's acceptable or unacceptable." "It is as it is." Nothing more can or needs to be said.
It is out of this need to say more, to clarify, to distinguish that confusion arises. As a result, positions are established, agreed with and contradicted. All of this, is just a refuge for "I". All such confusions can be avoided, when we see what confusion is. Confusion is "I" attempting to know the unknowable. Frustration is "I" unable to know the unknowable, and suffering is "I" unable to understand the unknowable. As a result, it is labeled good, bad or unsatisfactory. What then is "I?" "I" is conditioning plus reasoning.
Conditioning plus reasoning, that's not so bad, right? Wrong. There are inherent flaws in all reasoning, The ego doesn't like to hear this, because it thinks itself a god. But, any truth the mind reasons to will be a dead truth, not a live one. It will not be the living Truth. Simply connecting one thought to another is not Oneness, Mind makes it's associations, but, it's every attempt to know Reality is a failed one. The mind's methods are divisive. It kills everything it touches.
Given all of this, it is no surprise that belief plays a major role in religion. With faith, with belief, one is able to give up this conundrum and this search. Clinging to any one of a dozen mythologies fills this space and satisfies "I." The "I" is then able to rest in the belief that it has the Truth, and this ends the search. "I know the truth. Therefore "I" am free. Or more pecisely, "I" knows the Truth and therefore it is free, but free of what? "I" is still "I." Ego still is. "I," "me," and "my" all remain. What kind of freedom is this?
It is freedom from search, but it is not realization. It is not direct experience of the Living Truth. The mind can, perhaps, rest, but everything is second hand. It is believed. It is adopted. It is told. At least, this is the beginning point. It is only a seed. This seed can grow. It can take root and become a fully mature tree, and it must. But, without direct experience, this can't happen. Just as a plant needs sunshine, one needs direct experience, otherwise, he or she will cling to beliefs, as though they were, of themselves, something of value, One would grow up a Christian tree, a Moslem tree, a Buddhist tree, a Hindu tree, a Taoist tree, and so on.
One get's an image of an orchard, of a vast garden where each tree maintains its autonomy and yet shares the same nature as the other. But the reality is ego's don't share. Instead, they form collective egos. "I" becomes "we," "me" becomes "us," and "mine" becomes "ours." In fact, very little changes. Still, there are boundaries. Still there are differences. Still there is controversy. Still there are enemies and friends. This is not the awakened perspective. This is not the Truth of Awakened Presence. Nothing has been broken through. Nothing has been seen. Things are modified, but the same.
Ego boundaries have relaxed, but they remain, and when resisted, they strengthen. They defend. They argue. They fight, each ensuring it's own survival. This is not freedom, and it is certainly not freedom from self. What then has been accomplished? This may sound bleak, but it is a fact. It is a fact that when threatened, "I" reasons, rationalizes and retaliates. It does not turn the other cheek. Turning the other cheek does not hold any interest for an ego. It's interests, as disguised as they may be, are always self-serving.
This is human nature, but it is not "original nature." "Original nature" is what you were before human interest took over. Freedom is freedom from "I." The ego with all of its identities, with all of its interests cannot know such a freedom. Were it to dissolve, like the salt doll who charges into the ocean, were it to turn around and face its source, this contradiction, and all contradictions would become paradoxes.
But, knowing, like seeking, just keeps the "I" going. It feeds the illusion. It sustains the illusion of differences, of separateness, and the illusion that "I" can have real knowledge, or true control. Freedom is free of all of it. In fact, that is the freedom. It is free from the concern of having more knowledge. It is free from the need to control. It is free of the limited perspective of "I," and it is free of autonomy. Thus, it is free of drama, free of acting, and most importantly, free of the actor that says, "I know."
To the ego, who thinks it must know, who thinks it must choose, that it must take a stand, true freedom is terrifying. For the ego, distictions and differences are absolutely necessary. Without distinctions, it asks, "Where will I stand? What will be my boundaries? How will I stand apart from the rest?" This is the ego's greatest concern, what to be for and what to be against.
To be without any opinion, to be without any conclusion, to be without any stance, is to be free of "I' and 'my." From here, one opens to the awakened perspective, where nothing can be said above and beyond the obvious. "It is as it is." That's as philosophical as Awakened Presence gets. It does not share your opinions or beliefs. It does not remark: "oh, that's terrible," or that's great, or "that's too bad" or "that's acceptable or unacceptable." "It is as it is." Nothing more can or needs to be said.
It is out of this need to say more, to clarify, to distinguish that confusion arises. As a result, positions are established, agreed with and contradicted. All of this, is just a refuge for "I". All such confusions can be avoided, when we see what confusion is. Confusion is "I" attempting to know the unknowable. Frustration is "I" unable to know the unknowable, and suffering is "I" unable to understand the unknowable. As a result, it is labeled good, bad or unsatisfactory. What then is "I?" "I" is conditioning plus reasoning.
Conditioning plus reasoning, that's not so bad, right? Wrong. There are inherent flaws in all reasoning, The ego doesn't like to hear this, because it thinks itself a god. But, any truth the mind reasons to will be a dead truth, not a live one. It will not be the living Truth. Simply connecting one thought to another is not Oneness, Mind makes it's associations, but, it's every attempt to know Reality is a failed one. The mind's methods are divisive. It kills everything it touches.
Given all of this, it is no surprise that belief plays a major role in religion. With faith, with belief, one is able to give up this conundrum and this search. Clinging to any one of a dozen mythologies fills this space and satisfies "I." The "I" is then able to rest in the belief that it has the Truth, and this ends the search. "I know the truth. Therefore "I" am free. Or more pecisely, "I" knows the Truth and therefore it is free, but free of what? "I" is still "I." Ego still is. "I," "me," and "my" all remain. What kind of freedom is this?
It is freedom from search, but it is not realization. It is not direct experience of the Living Truth. The mind can, perhaps, rest, but everything is second hand. It is believed. It is adopted. It is told. At least, this is the beginning point. It is only a seed. This seed can grow. It can take root and become a fully mature tree, and it must. But, without direct experience, this can't happen. Just as a plant needs sunshine, one needs direct experience, otherwise, he or she will cling to beliefs, as though they were, of themselves, something of value, One would grow up a Christian tree, a Moslem tree, a Buddhist tree, a Hindu tree, a Taoist tree, and so on.
One get's an image of an orchard, of a vast garden where each tree maintains its autonomy and yet shares the same nature as the other. But the reality is ego's don't share. Instead, they form collective egos. "I" becomes "we," "me" becomes "us," and "mine" becomes "ours." In fact, very little changes. Still, there are boundaries. Still there are differences. Still there is controversy. Still there are enemies and friends. This is not the awakened perspective. This is not the Truth of Awakened Presence. Nothing has been broken through. Nothing has been seen. Things are modified, but the same.
Ego boundaries have relaxed, but they remain, and when resisted, they strengthen. They defend. They argue. They fight, each ensuring it's own survival. This is not freedom, and it is certainly not freedom from self. What then has been accomplished? This may sound bleak, but it is a fact. It is a fact that when threatened, "I" reasons, rationalizes and retaliates. It does not turn the other cheek. Turning the other cheek does not hold any interest for an ego. It's interests, as disguised as they may be, are always self-serving.
This is human nature, but it is not "original nature." "Original nature" is what you were before human interest took over. Freedom is freedom from "I." The ego with all of its identities, with all of its interests cannot know such a freedom. Were it to dissolve, like the salt doll who charges into the ocean, were it to turn around and face its source, this contradiction, and all contradictions would become paradoxes.
Surrender
It is useless to try to surrender. Trying of any kind is not surrender. Surrender is rest. Without an "I" this happens naturally. Without an "I," who is there to make effort? The absence of effort is rest. Contrary to popular belief, surrender doesn't happen because something is changed but because something is seen. When it is realized that there truly is no self, that there is no separate self to be enlightened, no separate self to become free, no separate self to be perfected, or return home, the joke is apparent. There is no I. There is no me. There is no you. There is no us or them, There is just Oneness.
With this realization, comes the sense that there is nothing to do and no one to do it. Where before, there was the illusion of choice, of controlling events and ideas, Now, everything just takes it natural course, without any sense of being in control or having to be. As a result there is no conflict. What passes for surrender is not surrender. Surrender is not a partial thing. It is not I surrender to the One and remain me. It is not a relationship of God and me..Me drops out, and there is just the One. I, me, and my, were all ideas. The seeing of this is what is called freedom
Because the majority of books and scriptures are written from a dualistic perspective, that it could be this way is thought to be impossible. It is inconceivable. But reality defies logic as easily as it defies your understanding of what is possible. Is it possible to be the Whole expressing as part? It is possible, and it is so. To the ego, this is not very palatable. It is frightened at the prospect of not existing. That everything is an expression of one, that everything is the One expressing is not very flattering to an idea that prides itself on being a contributor, on being a cooperator. It wants to protest. "What about me?" "What about my opinion on the matter." "What about these treasures of I, my, and mine? What about my personal perspective? My personal expertise? This is all just more thinking.
In reality, the ego never did or does anything. It is just a label that gets associated with activity. It is not the doer. It is just a thought. That's what "you are not the doer" means. It means that everything ever done was done by the One, not you.
How then does it happen? Suppose you're relaxed, and a thought spontaneously arises. The label "I" arises and attaches to the existing thought. Next, the thought "My" arises suggesting ownership and authorship, Eventually through help from the body, the action is carried out. But who performed the action?
To see the immensity of this, it helps to take it out of the abstract. While resting, the thought arises to lock the door. You respond by locking the door. Do it now. Who locked the door? If you answer "I." then, any investigation which might have led to awakening is missed. "I" is just a label, and a label always references the past. The question is who locked the door? Did a label lock the door? Of course not. A label cannot lock a door. Did the mind lock the door? No, Mind is just a faculty for thinking. It cannot lock or unlock a door. Did circumstances lock the door? No, circumstances are just conditions, and conditions cannot lock a door. Did the body lock the door? No, clearly the body is just an instrument, but an instrument of what, of whom?
What causes thoughts to arise, and what causes action to be carried out? Who decides, responds, and acts? Who or what does "I" refer to? These are all varriations of the same one and only question. The question, "who am I?" is meant to lead beyond the label to the mystery, beyond the person to the Truth. By clinging to the label, knowledge is gained but Truth is missed.
With this realization, comes the sense that there is nothing to do and no one to do it. Where before, there was the illusion of choice, of controlling events and ideas, Now, everything just takes it natural course, without any sense of being in control or having to be. As a result there is no conflict. What passes for surrender is not surrender. Surrender is not a partial thing. It is not I surrender to the One and remain me. It is not a relationship of God and me..Me drops out, and there is just the One. I, me, and my, were all ideas. The seeing of this is what is called freedom
Because the majority of books and scriptures are written from a dualistic perspective, that it could be this way is thought to be impossible. It is inconceivable. But reality defies logic as easily as it defies your understanding of what is possible. Is it possible to be the Whole expressing as part? It is possible, and it is so. To the ego, this is not very palatable. It is frightened at the prospect of not existing. That everything is an expression of one, that everything is the One expressing is not very flattering to an idea that prides itself on being a contributor, on being a cooperator. It wants to protest. "What about me?" "What about my opinion on the matter." "What about these treasures of I, my, and mine? What about my personal perspective? My personal expertise? This is all just more thinking.
In reality, the ego never did or does anything. It is just a label that gets associated with activity. It is not the doer. It is just a thought. That's what "you are not the doer" means. It means that everything ever done was done by the One, not you.
How then does it happen? Suppose you're relaxed, and a thought spontaneously arises. The label "I" arises and attaches to the existing thought. Next, the thought "My" arises suggesting ownership and authorship, Eventually through help from the body, the action is carried out. But who performed the action?
To see the immensity of this, it helps to take it out of the abstract. While resting, the thought arises to lock the door. You respond by locking the door. Do it now. Who locked the door? If you answer "I." then, any investigation which might have led to awakening is missed. "I" is just a label, and a label always references the past. The question is who locked the door? Did a label lock the door? Of course not. A label cannot lock a door. Did the mind lock the door? No, Mind is just a faculty for thinking. It cannot lock or unlock a door. Did circumstances lock the door? No, circumstances are just conditions, and conditions cannot lock a door. Did the body lock the door? No, clearly the body is just an instrument, but an instrument of what, of whom?
What causes thoughts to arise, and what causes action to be carried out? Who decides, responds, and acts? Who or what does "I" refer to? These are all varriations of the same one and only question. The question, "who am I?" is meant to lead beyond the label to the mystery, beyond the person to the Truth. By clinging to the label, knowledge is gained but Truth is missed.
Seeking
Truth can't be figured out intellectually. It can't be reasoned or argued, only intuitively sensed. The reason is that the knower through his knowledge of objects divides the world. He misses the oneness. It is the "I" in "I know" and "I think" that misses the Truth. "I know that..." is in reality "I' knows that..." The knowledge belongs to "I" not to you. The opinions likewise belong to "I" not to you. Both the knowledge "I am enlightened," and the knowledge "I'm not enlightened," both the belief "all is one," and the belief, "all is many," belong to "I" All knowledge and beliefs belong to ego.
Strictly speaking, what is ordinarily called knowledge of oneness is not knowledge. It is Being. If you are like most spiritual seekers, you are waiting for this elusive knowledge of oneness to stick, but stick to what? to whom? You haven't inquired. You have just thought about it. This thinking says, "I can't rest unless I have some final experience." The problem is, experience will not yield realization. Experience is dualistic. Who's experience is it after all? It also belongs to I. We say my experience, or the experience I had. See, it's all in time. The only reality outside of time is awareness.
What is Eternal is here now, more knowledge is not. Truth is here now, more experience is not, What is awake is here now, more insight is not What, then are you waiting for? No amount of knowledge, experience or insight will satisfy the mind. "I" always imagines something better just around the corner, and there is plenty in store. Preoccupations are plentiful. Always, there is something that hasn't been experienced, something that hasn't been thought about, something that hasn't been seen. So, the mind suggests, "why allow this, experience or insight, to be the final one, to be the one that stops the search?
This is how it keeps itself going. It keeps imagining, keeps anticipating, keeps thinking. And you let it go on. It continues with your blessing. You entrust your enlightenment, your awakening, your self-realization to reason, as if reason was the big authority on Truth, But reason always says, "this is not what I imagined."
You cannot reason to oneness. The very method prevents it. No amount of thinking can provide any insight into where thinking comes from. No intellectual pursuit ever leads to realization, It leads only to more insights, then to more ideas, and eventually to more thinking. It is a ceaseless activity which brings you no closer to Truth. That's what seeking is.
Trying to reason to enlightenment is an exercise in futility. No ability of the mind, be it thinking, reflecting, remembering or imagining, can facilitate waking up, for the simple fact that the mind is only a thought; that's the awakening. You wake up when you see that the ego, which wants to come to a nice neat conclusion, which wants to resolve the paradoxes and tie up all the loose ends, isn't real. Reasoning to the Truth is like reasoning that you've got food. You've got food, but not for the reasons you think or don't think.
Strictly speaking, what is ordinarily called knowledge of oneness is not knowledge. It is Being. If you are like most spiritual seekers, you are waiting for this elusive knowledge of oneness to stick, but stick to what? to whom? You haven't inquired. You have just thought about it. This thinking says, "I can't rest unless I have some final experience." The problem is, experience will not yield realization. Experience is dualistic. Who's experience is it after all? It also belongs to I. We say my experience, or the experience I had. See, it's all in time. The only reality outside of time is awareness.
What is Eternal is here now, more knowledge is not. Truth is here now, more experience is not, What is awake is here now, more insight is not What, then are you waiting for? No amount of knowledge, experience or insight will satisfy the mind. "I" always imagines something better just around the corner, and there is plenty in store. Preoccupations are plentiful. Always, there is something that hasn't been experienced, something that hasn't been thought about, something that hasn't been seen. So, the mind suggests, "why allow this, experience or insight, to be the final one, to be the one that stops the search?
This is how it keeps itself going. It keeps imagining, keeps anticipating, keeps thinking. And you let it go on. It continues with your blessing. You entrust your enlightenment, your awakening, your self-realization to reason, as if reason was the big authority on Truth, But reason always says, "this is not what I imagined."
You cannot reason to oneness. The very method prevents it. No amount of thinking can provide any insight into where thinking comes from. No intellectual pursuit ever leads to realization, It leads only to more insights, then to more ideas, and eventually to more thinking. It is a ceaseless activity which brings you no closer to Truth. That's what seeking is.
Trying to reason to enlightenment is an exercise in futility. No ability of the mind, be it thinking, reflecting, remembering or imagining, can facilitate waking up, for the simple fact that the mind is only a thought; that's the awakening. You wake up when you see that the ego, which wants to come to a nice neat conclusion, which wants to resolve the paradoxes and tie up all the loose ends, isn't real. Reasoning to the Truth is like reasoning that you've got food. You've got food, but not for the reasons you think or don't think.
Confusion
To end confusion, it's good to look at how and when confusion arises. Clearly, confusion arises when you are thinking, when you are attempting to know, when you are trying to establish a personal position, when you are trying to establish a true belief. Truth will not allow it. Truth will not become the object of any belief. The Mystery will not be objectified. It will not include some things and exclude others. It extends the invitation to see that you are the whole of It not that you can know It.
Knowing takes two, a knower and some object being known. Hence, concern with knowledge, who's right and who's wrong, gives separateness a fighting chance by creating objectivity. The ego can only survive through objectivity, Objectivity means distance. It means separateness. The difference between the philosopher or scientist and the mystic is that the philosopher and scientist maintain thier objectivity, their ego. A mystic does not. Without knowledge of something separate, there is no objectivity, and without objectivity there is no knowledge of something separate.
Hence, ignorance is a confusion that arises through objectivity. The idea "my" knowledge arises and wham! You are caught in the trap of "I" "my" and "mine." You are in the trap of objectifyer. As a result, you feel apart from the whole instead of part of It. You have become distanced enough to judge It. By judging It, you exclude yourself from It. You objectify It. In your mind, the two are separate. Unity is missed.
Knowing takes two, but being is oneness. In other words: Truth does not allow for two. It does not allow for otherness. Seeing others requires a separate I. without that, all is one. All is one unified reality. This is very important because objectifying or judging will cause you also to feel separate. It will cause you to experience yourself as an outsider, as a separate entity. Being will not. Being is intimacy. Knowing is duality.
Although a distinction may be made between seer and seen, between emptiness and form, between manifested and unmanifested, realization is not objectivity. It does not create a separate observer. Rather, it disolves objectivity which creates the illusion of a separate obsever. What keeps the illusion in place is the ego's apparent ability "to know." But, the ego's knowledge is always knowledge of something other than itself. That is why Truth cannot be known by ego. How can an idea which insists on being separate know the truth of Oneness? That very idea must be seen for what it is.
Even spiritual ideas and insights are not exempt. The "I" gets great joy and satisfaction by figuring it all out. "I've got it!" or "I see it!" is another trap. Thinking leads to "knowing" and "knowing" creates the illusion of knower and known. Seeing creates the illusion of observer and observed. Just being is the only surety, the only activity that doesn't create duality. You can be knowledgeable or you can be one, but you can't be both. A scientist can have knowledge of something. A mystic cannot. He gives up knowledge for Oneness. He loses his self and gains the Whole.
The scientist and the philosopher are endlessly involved with making judgments, making observations and coming to conclusions. It is endless because no end is in sight. The mind always keeps going. Always, there is something new to consider. Always, there is another aspect, another perspective. Every ology except Selfology depends on separateness. Once you realize that knowing takes two, and being requires one, all the rest falls in place.
Knowing takes two, a knower and some object being known. Hence, concern with knowledge, who's right and who's wrong, gives separateness a fighting chance by creating objectivity. The ego can only survive through objectivity, Objectivity means distance. It means separateness. The difference between the philosopher or scientist and the mystic is that the philosopher and scientist maintain thier objectivity, their ego. A mystic does not. Without knowledge of something separate, there is no objectivity, and without objectivity there is no knowledge of something separate.
Hence, ignorance is a confusion that arises through objectivity. The idea "my" knowledge arises and wham! You are caught in the trap of "I" "my" and "mine." You are in the trap of objectifyer. As a result, you feel apart from the whole instead of part of It. You have become distanced enough to judge It. By judging It, you exclude yourself from It. You objectify It. In your mind, the two are separate. Unity is missed.
Knowing takes two, but being is oneness. In other words: Truth does not allow for two. It does not allow for otherness. Seeing others requires a separate I. without that, all is one. All is one unified reality. This is very important because objectifying or judging will cause you also to feel separate. It will cause you to experience yourself as an outsider, as a separate entity. Being will not. Being is intimacy. Knowing is duality.
Although a distinction may be made between seer and seen, between emptiness and form, between manifested and unmanifested, realization is not objectivity. It does not create a separate observer. Rather, it disolves objectivity which creates the illusion of a separate obsever. What keeps the illusion in place is the ego's apparent ability "to know." But, the ego's knowledge is always knowledge of something other than itself. That is why Truth cannot be known by ego. How can an idea which insists on being separate know the truth of Oneness? That very idea must be seen for what it is.
Even spiritual ideas and insights are not exempt. The "I" gets great joy and satisfaction by figuring it all out. "I've got it!" or "I see it!" is another trap. Thinking leads to "knowing" and "knowing" creates the illusion of knower and known. Seeing creates the illusion of observer and observed. Just being is the only surety, the only activity that doesn't create duality. You can be knowledgeable or you can be one, but you can't be both. A scientist can have knowledge of something. A mystic cannot. He gives up knowledge for Oneness. He loses his self and gains the Whole.
The scientist and the philosopher are endlessly involved with making judgments, making observations and coming to conclusions. It is endless because no end is in sight. The mind always keeps going. Always, there is something new to consider. Always, there is another aspect, another perspective. Every ology except Selfology depends on separateness. Once you realize that knowing takes two, and being requires one, all the rest falls in place.
Naturalness
Everything you think is an idea. Without thinking, you are natural. Natural means that you have not added anything mental to the utter simplicity of Presence. Complexity is not natural to you. Confusion, likewise, is not natural. It is an addition. Even knowledge is not natural to you. It is accumulated. It is acquired. Acquired knowledge is what is known as conditioning. Conditioning is the past arising in the present. It is what forms the personal experience. Without it, there is no personal point of view, just Naturalness.
Naturalness is the only Truth. Everything else is just what arises at the time. In the asleep state, whatever arises is projected onto Truth. This is the story, "it is true because it corresponds with my personal point of view." Inevitably, this clashes with the personal point of view of another, and differences result. Which point of view is correct? The answer is neither. One is what arises for you. The other is what arises for the other.
If you are attached to a personal point of view, you are said to have strong beliefs, convictions, even values. This attachment or identification with what arises, this attachment with the personal "me" is what characterizes the asleep state.
Being natural is like being an infant. Not even a child is so natural, so pristine as an infant. Even a child is complex. The "I" the "me,' the "mine." already are begining to form. Naturalness is compromised. No longer are you "That" perfectly embodied. Instead, a center begins to develop. The "I am me" idea gets established.
With the addition of knowledge, with the addition of "I," confusion enters. This confusion we call mind. Mind exists when there is an identification with conditioning. From here, it is easy to see where inferiority and superiority come in. and when they do, Naturalness is missed.
The invitation that comes to us through spiritual masters and my invitation to you is just this: stay in your Naturalness. It wasn't long after birth that separateness became your world view. The body was the first conditioning. This idea called "I" or mind was the second. As a result, a wrong association developed. The invitation, therefore, is to stay natural.
So simple. Why all the confusion? The confusion comes because of the belief in a personal self. The Truth, what is called "original nature" is prior to all such disturbance, distinction and differentiation. It is sameness. Sameness is Naturalness, and Naturalness is sameness.
Hence, returning to Naturalness is returning to sameness. It is returning to the ground of being, to primordial peace, to rest. It is not an achievement or an advancement, but a retreat. It is a retreat to the peace, purity and perfection which existed prior to striving, prior to becoming, prior to thought or the arising of any wave. The seeing of "That" as the real truth of you, instead of looking to the pretense, is what is known as awakening. Being that, which is "original," is what is meant by being natural, by being simple, by being one.
In reality, there is not even being "one with." This is an idea. There is no "one" who is separate. There is just undivided Naturalness. This is the Truth, and you are That. Everything, whether awake or unawake, whether aware or unaware, is the same Naturalness that you are.
Naturalness is the only Truth. Everything else is just what arises at the time. In the asleep state, whatever arises is projected onto Truth. This is the story, "it is true because it corresponds with my personal point of view." Inevitably, this clashes with the personal point of view of another, and differences result. Which point of view is correct? The answer is neither. One is what arises for you. The other is what arises for the other.
If you are attached to a personal point of view, you are said to have strong beliefs, convictions, even values. This attachment or identification with what arises, this attachment with the personal "me" is what characterizes the asleep state.
Being natural is like being an infant. Not even a child is so natural, so pristine as an infant. Even a child is complex. The "I" the "me,' the "mine." already are begining to form. Naturalness is compromised. No longer are you "That" perfectly embodied. Instead, a center begins to develop. The "I am me" idea gets established.
With the addition of knowledge, with the addition of "I," confusion enters. This confusion we call mind. Mind exists when there is an identification with conditioning. From here, it is easy to see where inferiority and superiority come in. and when they do, Naturalness is missed.
The invitation that comes to us through spiritual masters and my invitation to you is just this: stay in your Naturalness. It wasn't long after birth that separateness became your world view. The body was the first conditioning. This idea called "I" or mind was the second. As a result, a wrong association developed. The invitation, therefore, is to stay natural.
So simple. Why all the confusion? The confusion comes because of the belief in a personal self. The Truth, what is called "original nature" is prior to all such disturbance, distinction and differentiation. It is sameness. Sameness is Naturalness, and Naturalness is sameness.
Hence, returning to Naturalness is returning to sameness. It is returning to the ground of being, to primordial peace, to rest. It is not an achievement or an advancement, but a retreat. It is a retreat to the peace, purity and perfection which existed prior to striving, prior to becoming, prior to thought or the arising of any wave. The seeing of "That" as the real truth of you, instead of looking to the pretense, is what is known as awakening. Being that, which is "original," is what is meant by being natural, by being simple, by being one.
In reality, there is not even being "one with." This is an idea. There is no "one" who is separate. There is just undivided Naturalness. This is the Truth, and you are That. Everything, whether awake or unawake, whether aware or unaware, is the same Naturalness that you are.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
The Reality of Ego
Do you deny your own existence? Even if you did, you would have to exist to do so. So that is not what the Master's are pointing to. They are pointing to the reality of ego. The point they are making is that there is no separate existence, that the ego is also That. To know this, Self inquiry is described. Self inquiry is seeing what the ego is when it is not knowledgeable. The ego is only knowledge. But in the end, all turns out to be That and That alone. You are That. I am That, and That is all there is.
When one finds a teacher, one finds a treasure, because who can lead through all of these misunderstandings. The ultimate realization is Silence. It is not however Silence that the ego creates through effort. It is a Silence that is eternal, or always here, which is the source of thoughts, words, actions etc. Statements such as you are not the body, you are not the mind etc. point to two realities. One, that you are not limited, that you are formless and as Presence, always here, and two, that the body, the mind, the world are not as they appear. They appear to be on their own, but they are not. Reality is one unified whole. The statement: there is nothing to realize and no one to realize it is true because everything is the absolute. But this has to be seen.
In the beginning, one thinks the ego is everything. In the middle, one thinks the Absolute is everything. In the end everything is the Absolute. God is all there is, but you have to dissolve the ego to know it. The ego dissolves by seeing its true nature, that is - who the ego is without knowledge.
When one finds a teacher, one finds a treasure, because who can lead through all of these misunderstandings. The ultimate realization is Silence. It is not however Silence that the ego creates through effort. It is a Silence that is eternal, or always here, which is the source of thoughts, words, actions etc. Statements such as you are not the body, you are not the mind etc. point to two realities. One, that you are not limited, that you are formless and as Presence, always here, and two, that the body, the mind, the world are not as they appear. They appear to be on their own, but they are not. Reality is one unified whole. The statement: there is nothing to realize and no one to realize it is true because everything is the absolute. But this has to be seen.
In the beginning, one thinks the ego is everything. In the middle, one thinks the Absolute is everything. In the end everything is the Absolute. God is all there is, but you have to dissolve the ego to know it. The ego dissolves by seeing its true nature, that is - who the ego is without knowledge.
The Philosopher the Theist and the Gnani
The Philosopher, the Theist and the Gnani
Medieval Philosophy maintained that God created ex-nihilo, literally- out of nothing. It is also held that from nothing, nothing comes. We are in the realm of philosophy, mind you. What is held is that God had nothing separate from which to create. God was all there was, and somehow, out of Nothing, God created all of this. That’s the philosophical belief. "How did it happen?" The answer comes. "God did it. Nothing is impossible for God." Here, philosophical belief jumps to faith.
The existential discovery is different. The gnani’s discovery is not philosophical. He does not begin with God, but with himself. He looks to his own separate existence and asks, "Who am I?" "Am I the body?" Thus, the inquiry begins. The first obvious question is who is asking the question? The body, of course, is not. Thus, the gnani sees, he is not the body. The one who asked the question, "Am I the body?" is who he is. So who that is, he endeavors to find out.
"Perhaps, I am the mind? What is the mind?" He sees a connection between himself and the mind. He notices a connection between the ego, the sense of a separate me, and thought. But who notices this connection? "It is I," but what is I? Here the mind stops and he enters into Mystery. The inquiry of the mind can go no further. He cannot know what That is. It is unknowable. The Truth is unknowable, and for him, it is enough. The mind surrenders to That in awe and homage.
For faith, belief that God created is very important. For the gnani, God is just a concept, similar to that of creation. It is theory. He is not satisfied with the imposition of beliefs and theories. Not beginning with anything borrowed, he wants to know his own self. This question arises as, "Who am I?" His discovery is I is just a thought, from which all other thoughts come, but I itself comes from nowhere. The difference between the gnani and the philosopher or believer is that the gnani doesn’t jump from his direct experience into knowledge based on beliefs or additional thinking. He doesn't reflect, he dissolves. He remains with the realization that I is a thought and that thoughts come out of nowhere, and that nowhere cannot be described.
Upon this discovery, he surrenders to That. He does not jump back into the idea of separation and intellectualize some more. The mind has gone as far as it can go and there is a seeing that - That is beyond anything which can be conceived. It is clear that the source of separation is I and I came from nothing knowable. The ego, or cause of separation, now endlessly adores the Mystery. It bows and is speechless. Anything else would be less.
Medieval Philosophy maintained that God created ex-nihilo, literally- out of nothing. It is also held that from nothing, nothing comes. We are in the realm of philosophy, mind you. What is held is that God had nothing separate from which to create. God was all there was, and somehow, out of Nothing, God created all of this. That’s the philosophical belief. "How did it happen?" The answer comes. "God did it. Nothing is impossible for God." Here, philosophical belief jumps to faith.
The existential discovery is different. The gnani’s discovery is not philosophical. He does not begin with God, but with himself. He looks to his own separate existence and asks, "Who am I?" "Am I the body?" Thus, the inquiry begins. The first obvious question is who is asking the question? The body, of course, is not. Thus, the gnani sees, he is not the body. The one who asked the question, "Am I the body?" is who he is. So who that is, he endeavors to find out.
"Perhaps, I am the mind? What is the mind?" He sees a connection between himself and the mind. He notices a connection between the ego, the sense of a separate me, and thought. But who notices this connection? "It is I," but what is I? Here the mind stops and he enters into Mystery. The inquiry of the mind can go no further. He cannot know what That is. It is unknowable. The Truth is unknowable, and for him, it is enough. The mind surrenders to That in awe and homage.
For faith, belief that God created is very important. For the gnani, God is just a concept, similar to that of creation. It is theory. He is not satisfied with the imposition of beliefs and theories. Not beginning with anything borrowed, he wants to know his own self. This question arises as, "Who am I?" His discovery is I is just a thought, from which all other thoughts come, but I itself comes from nowhere. The difference between the gnani and the philosopher or believer is that the gnani doesn’t jump from his direct experience into knowledge based on beliefs or additional thinking. He doesn't reflect, he dissolves. He remains with the realization that I is a thought and that thoughts come out of nowhere, and that nowhere cannot be described.
Upon this discovery, he surrenders to That. He does not jump back into the idea of separation and intellectualize some more. The mind has gone as far as it can go and there is a seeing that - That is beyond anything which can be conceived. It is clear that the source of separation is I and I came from nothing knowable. The ego, or cause of separation, now endlessly adores the Mystery. It bows and is speechless. Anything else would be less.
Discovering the Being in Human Being
Waking up to who you are is realizing what being human really is. It is discovering the "being" part in human being, the truth that you have no reference point. You are beyond time, beyond anything perceivable or conceivable. Realizing this, you discover who you actually are. You see what is actually here, what is actually occurring. Choicelessly, you are every reference point, exploring yourself: as the mind, the body, the world, as others, as life and as the Mystery. This is enlightenment.
In the beginning, you recognize your presence in thought. The mind becomes a focal point, then, the body. If you are fortunate to meet one who has awakened and to have awakened yourself, you now have a third reference point. This is the beginning of the spiritual ego, an almost undetectable form of arrogance. You’ve seen what you are, but you haven’t understood what you saw. It was not a third reference point, but no reference point. The fact that there is no reference point allows you to enjoy all reference points, simultaneously.
The previous preoccupation with the mind was because, to know yourself, you had no other reference point. Realizing you are That, you now know yourself as That. Knowing yourself as That, as the Disembodied, allows you to meet yourself in all bodies. That’s the trade off. You lose your fixed identity and become fluid. Not just the body and mind, you are now the neighbor, the world, and all of creation. Having no reference point, you are nothing, everything and beyond everything.
This happens, not by effort but by insight. The ego is dethroned, not by effort but by insight. You realize you are not the ego, and your identity becomes the Disembodied. If the identity is not firmly rooted in That, there will be confusion and suffering in the form of doubt. If the identity is fixed, having a reference point, and not fluid, with no reference point, one gets stuck, either in object- consciousness or Emptiness. If it is Emptiness, one misses the point of human life.
Even before birth, we begin to innocently explore ourselves in other reference points. If prevented from doing so, fixation develops. This fixation is the Divine’s determination to know Itself. That’s all that’s ever happening. The innocent attempts of the Mystery to know Itself are judged, condemned and prevented. If we are not natural, or naturally enlightened, this is the reason why. We have not been allowed to explore our totality. Having no other reference points, we were limited to the mind.
Even the body was left unexplored. The body and what connects it to every body was left unexplored. As a result, we identified with the person instead of the Presence and with the ego instead of with God.
The Timeless has no reference point. You are That! The relative is none other than the Absolute in time.
In the beginning, you recognize your presence in thought. The mind becomes a focal point, then, the body. If you are fortunate to meet one who has awakened and to have awakened yourself, you now have a third reference point. This is the beginning of the spiritual ego, an almost undetectable form of arrogance. You’ve seen what you are, but you haven’t understood what you saw. It was not a third reference point, but no reference point. The fact that there is no reference point allows you to enjoy all reference points, simultaneously.
The previous preoccupation with the mind was because, to know yourself, you had no other reference point. Realizing you are That, you now know yourself as That. Knowing yourself as That, as the Disembodied, allows you to meet yourself in all bodies. That’s the trade off. You lose your fixed identity and become fluid. Not just the body and mind, you are now the neighbor, the world, and all of creation. Having no reference point, you are nothing, everything and beyond everything.
This happens, not by effort but by insight. The ego is dethroned, not by effort but by insight. You realize you are not the ego, and your identity becomes the Disembodied. If the identity is not firmly rooted in That, there will be confusion and suffering in the form of doubt. If the identity is fixed, having a reference point, and not fluid, with no reference point, one gets stuck, either in object- consciousness or Emptiness. If it is Emptiness, one misses the point of human life.
Even before birth, we begin to innocently explore ourselves in other reference points. If prevented from doing so, fixation develops. This fixation is the Divine’s determination to know Itself. That’s all that’s ever happening. The innocent attempts of the Mystery to know Itself are judged, condemned and prevented. If we are not natural, or naturally enlightened, this is the reason why. We have not been allowed to explore our totality. Having no other reference points, we were limited to the mind.
Even the body was left unexplored. The body and what connects it to every body was left unexplored. As a result, we identified with the person instead of the Presence and with the ego instead of with God.
The Timeless has no reference point. You are That! The relative is none other than the Absolute in time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
